Today, minutes after midnight, I finally told her everything that I have been keeping away from her. I don't know what I have just done. She was the one who turned my whole life upside down, but it seems that I am hurting her everytime. I wonder, am I really worth it, do I have what it takes? I am really starting to doubt my own abilities......
Few months ago, on her birthday, I made her a present and made a promise to give it to her the next time we meet. But now, when I look at it, I feel.....emptiness doesn't sound right, neither does bitterness, it is just a feeling I cannot describe....but I cannot deny, that it was a feeling of sorrow. Feeling the pain, I just couldn't bear it, I currently kept the present in my drawer, somewhere I would not open so often.
I vowed not to look in my past's pain, but unfortunately, I broke it during midnight, I was reminded the pain I felt in the past. Being able to surpass it for so long and now to feel it again, the sorrow was really unbearable. Even now, I am doubting myself if I can really do it, I can't bear to feel the same sorrow twice...I guess I am really useless....
Damn it.....I am an asshole....
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