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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Self Denial Syndrome.....

I have been troubled lately, and I mean very troubled, it all started after going to out with them. When I thought my troubles were over, boy was I wronged...I just realized how much the pain grew just in one night time.

I choosed to ignore the pain, so I went back to university on monday,the pain grew even more, I keep denying myself over the pain, telling myself that it was only an illusion, it was not real. Monday was perfectly fine for me, until Tuesday.....

What happened on Tuesday? Well, its a triple killer for me, my lecturers returned my Physics, Calculus and English test back to me. You could say it was a cherry on the topping for my pains. It made matters worse. I was so stressed, I was at the brink of tears. Never thought I would go through such pain....

Yesterday! I couldn't take it anymore, the pain was too much, its creating a hollow inside of me, making me feeling very uneasy. There is only one person I could rely on in this situation, because I believed he has gone through the same thing as I did, except much earlier.

I consulted him, and asked him what should I do, he told me to deny the thing that was hurting me the most. I wondered to myself, I can really do it? After all these times, and now, to turn a blind eye over it? Some things are not meant to be true I guessed. Hopes are nowhere within my reach.

Might as well I put a sock in it, just end the whole thing, and my torment will be over....but...how long will I last.....

*I wouldn't put any names for the sake of privacy of the person*

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