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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Hollowness.....

Damn, my life is so empty. I feel like I am missing something inside of me. I wonder what it is? I do not seem like I lack of basic daily needs, nor dissatisfaction about my life. Everything is there, everything seems so perfect, but yet, still so empty....


Maybe it is due to the finals coming in a fortnight? Maybe I am just thinking too much? Maybe I having lack of sleep? Or maybe, there are unforeseen disturbance around me? Those, I will never know, since I don't even know myself well enough.

Back when I was in PLKN, they thought me about my image and my true self. I am so confused with who I am right now, it seems I will always stay as a man with a thousand mask, I guess that is something that will never change. Everybody have different opinions and perceptions about me, and every comment seem to differ from one person to another. Never I see two of the same comments.

Bah, why should I care about how people think about me. I am who I am, no one can change that! OK, maybe one person can change me, but that doesn't matter any more I guess. For all I care now, I need to know what is missing within me.

I find it kinda weird, why do I still care so much for her although I got no more relations with her any more. Some things were never meant to be, I do not deny that, but why am I in pain when she too is in pain? I thought it was already over? I thought I told myself never to walk along that path again? What miscalculations have I done? Isn't everything suppose to go according to plan? What a headache.....damn it....

No use thinking so much, every wound heals over time, I got to focus on my finals right now, and that is what matters! Finals before Chinese New Year, this isn't going to get any better eh.....

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