My Own Stupidity....

When I thought I lost my password for good, after 6 freaking months!!! I remembered that there was a search for lost password function in every website.

I am really amazed by own stupidity....damn it....

Anyway, now, I am back in business, and I might change my blog abit...takes time...

Hollowness.....

Damn, my life is so empty. I feel like I am missing something inside of me. I wonder what it is? I do not seem like I lack of basic daily needs, nor dissatisfaction about my life. Everything is there, everything seems so perfect, but yet, still so empty....

Maybe it is due to the finals coming in a fortnight? Maybe I am just thinking too much? Maybe I having lack of sleep? Or maybe, there are unforeseen disturbance around me? Those, I will never know, since I don't even know myself well enough.

Back when I was in PLKN, they thought me about my image and my true self. I am so confused with who I am right now, it seems I will always stay as a man with a thousand mask, I guess that is something that will never change. Everybody have different opinions and perceptions about me, and every comment seem to differ from one person to another. Never I see two of the same comments.

Bah, why should I care about how people think about me. I am who I am, no one can change that! OK, maybe one person can change me, but that doesn't matter any more I guess. For all I care now, I need to know what is missing within me.

I find it kinda weird, why do I still care so much for her although I got no more relations with her any more. Some things were never meant to be, I do not deny that, but why am I in pain when she too is in pain? I thought it was already over? I thought I told myself never to walk along that path again? What miscalculations have I done? Isn't everything suppose to go according to plan? What a headache.....damn it....

No use thinking so much, every wound heals over time, I got to focus on my finals right now, and that is what matters! Finals before Chinese New Year, this isn't going to get any better eh.....

Life Progress 23.75%....

Hello people!!! It's been a while since I updated my blog eh? Should be around 2 weeks I say. Curious about my title? Well, cause I set my life span to 80 years old only. I don't think I can go any older than that, nor accomplish anything in my 70's too. Since I am 19 this year, so I am approximately 1/4 of my target already, and still living on!!!

In my 1/4 of my life, I practically have accomplished nothing out of my miserable life. Time flies by just like that, it just seems like yesterday when I finished my SPM, it too seems like yesterday when I took my SPM result and went for National Service. Now those will only remain as my memories, and nothing more.

A new year calls for a new resolution. I am not a man of calibre, so, I won't aim that high...

>Maintaining my YTN Loan is 1st priority

>Mingle with more people which I can get along with

>Be more charitable

>Save more money

>Get a girlfriend perhaps? I'll make this optional.

Well, these are my 5 resolutions and I really hope I can accomplish all of it dis including the optional one. How I am going to accomplish it is another different story.

>To maintain my YTN Loan, I need a CGPA of 2.0 and above. I think I can do that.

>Mingling with people I can get along with? Well, I know I am not all that anti-social. Piss me off once, and I'll remember it for life.

>Being more charitable is such a headache since I don't know where to begin. I'll leave that for later.

>SAVE MORE MONEY!! THAT IS A MUST!!! MONEY IS SO IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!!!! >Lastly, getting a girlfriend. Maybe I should focus on my studies for now.

Anyway, I'll be stuck in UniTEN around 3 weeks-4 weeks? Lost count of the weeks. It is the exam period for now, Chemistry last week, Calculus and Physics on Friday and Sunday respectively. Really stressed out right now. My mom's birthday is on the 17th, which means this coming Sunday and I cannot go celebrate with her. Stupid exams....

Last week, UBF organized a camping trip to Sungai Congkak as a sign of appreciation for the Christmas Charity we've done during Christmas. What else can I say? I was fun all the way. The river was so cooling and the air was so fresh in the morning. It was a rare opportunity to get away from stress for a day.

Chemistry test finished on Friday, and we departed for Sungai Congkak on Saturday morning. There, we need to find branches or dead branches to burn so that we can cook lunch. My seniors handing the parang over to me, kinda takes me back to National Service. Anyway, food that you cook yourself really taste better, maybe it is due to the effort place on it? Green veggies, baked beans, more veggies, all cooked by ourselves. Barbecue for dinner? Yummy!!! What else can I say? Nothing beats roasted chicken, sausages, maize, and potatoes.The night there was quite cold, considering that we're inside the jungle. Still nothing unbearable.

Not much time left for me now, more stories next time....