My Own Stupidity....

When I thought I lost my password for good, after 6 freaking months!!! I remembered that there was a search for lost password function in every website.

I am really amazed by own stupidity....damn it....

Anyway, now, I am back in business, and I might change my blog abit...takes time...

Hollowness.....

Damn, my life is so empty. I feel like I am missing something inside of me. I wonder what it is? I do not seem like I lack of basic daily needs, nor dissatisfaction about my life. Everything is there, everything seems so perfect, but yet, still so empty....

Maybe it is due to the finals coming in a fortnight? Maybe I am just thinking too much? Maybe I having lack of sleep? Or maybe, there are unforeseen disturbance around me? Those, I will never know, since I don't even know myself well enough.

Back when I was in PLKN, they thought me about my image and my true self. I am so confused with who I am right now, it seems I will always stay as a man with a thousand mask, I guess that is something that will never change. Everybody have different opinions and perceptions about me, and every comment seem to differ from one person to another. Never I see two of the same comments.

Bah, why should I care about how people think about me. I am who I am, no one can change that! OK, maybe one person can change me, but that doesn't matter any more I guess. For all I care now, I need to know what is missing within me.

I find it kinda weird, why do I still care so much for her although I got no more relations with her any more. Some things were never meant to be, I do not deny that, but why am I in pain when she too is in pain? I thought it was already over? I thought I told myself never to walk along that path again? What miscalculations have I done? Isn't everything suppose to go according to plan? What a headache.....damn it....

No use thinking so much, every wound heals over time, I got to focus on my finals right now, and that is what matters! Finals before Chinese New Year, this isn't going to get any better eh.....

Life Progress 23.75%....

Hello people!!! It's been a while since I updated my blog eh? Should be around 2 weeks I say. Curious about my title? Well, cause I set my life span to 80 years old only. I don't think I can go any older than that, nor accomplish anything in my 70's too. Since I am 19 this year, so I am approximately 1/4 of my target already, and still living on!!!

In my 1/4 of my life, I practically have accomplished nothing out of my miserable life. Time flies by just like that, it just seems like yesterday when I finished my SPM, it too seems like yesterday when I took my SPM result and went for National Service. Now those will only remain as my memories, and nothing more.

A new year calls for a new resolution. I am not a man of calibre, so, I won't aim that high...

>Maintaining my YTN Loan is 1st priority

>Mingle with more people which I can get along with

>Be more charitable

>Save more money

>Get a girlfriend perhaps? I'll make this optional.

Well, these are my 5 resolutions and I really hope I can accomplish all of it dis including the optional one. How I am going to accomplish it is another different story.

>To maintain my YTN Loan, I need a CGPA of 2.0 and above. I think I can do that.

>Mingling with people I can get along with? Well, I know I am not all that anti-social. Piss me off once, and I'll remember it for life.

>Being more charitable is such a headache since I don't know where to begin. I'll leave that for later.

>SAVE MORE MONEY!! THAT IS A MUST!!! MONEY IS SO IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!!!! >Lastly, getting a girlfriend. Maybe I should focus on my studies for now.

Anyway, I'll be stuck in UniTEN around 3 weeks-4 weeks? Lost count of the weeks. It is the exam period for now, Chemistry last week, Calculus and Physics on Friday and Sunday respectively. Really stressed out right now. My mom's birthday is on the 17th, which means this coming Sunday and I cannot go celebrate with her. Stupid exams....

Last week, UBF organized a camping trip to Sungai Congkak as a sign of appreciation for the Christmas Charity we've done during Christmas. What else can I say? I was fun all the way. The river was so cooling and the air was so fresh in the morning. It was a rare opportunity to get away from stress for a day.

Chemistry test finished on Friday, and we departed for Sungai Congkak on Saturday morning. There, we need to find branches or dead branches to burn so that we can cook lunch. My seniors handing the parang over to me, kinda takes me back to National Service. Anyway, food that you cook yourself really taste better, maybe it is due to the effort place on it? Green veggies, baked beans, more veggies, all cooked by ourselves. Barbecue for dinner? Yummy!!! What else can I say? Nothing beats roasted chicken, sausages, maize, and potatoes.The night there was quite cold, considering that we're inside the jungle. Still nothing unbearable.

Not much time left for me now, more stories next time....

It's been a busy week....

OK, wow, it was seriously a busy week, 2 continuous weeks!!! Got hardly any time to update my blog. Anyway I am here now to update!! Two weeks flew by just like that. I guess time really flies huh?

Anyway, last week Friday, I went scoping out Christmas decorations for the orphanage centre that UBF was suppose to hold a Christmas party for them. Me, Ker Jia, Chee Kong, Li Jun and Ker Keng we part of the committee, while Ru Yi decided to tag along. So we went around Times Square, Sungei Way and Pavillion. How we go there from UniTEN? Public transportation of course! The travel fee back and forth cost around RM 10!! 

Anyway, we took pictures around the shopping malls and walk the whole day. Yes, my leg sores that time, I still remembered it well. The pictures can be found in my facebook profile, just look for  it if you want to see it. Anyway, walk the whole day also must eat right? The food expenses were heavy!! I got an heartache forking out my money for my share to eat in shopping malls.

One day passes just like that, walking around aimlessly. Well, the next day, which is a Saturday is pretty much the same. Sunway is having a ComicFiesta in Sunway Pyramid Convention Hall. So, it's the same gang again as yesterday! We went to Sunway alright, but what shocked us that there was an entrance fee that we have to pay! An amount of RM 15!! I barely have any money to spend since yesterday's outing. 

Li Jun and Ru Yi doesn't plan on going inside the convention hall. So I accompany them walk around Sunway Pyramid. Walked the whole day again, and yes, my leg sored again. Ouch!! Anyway, we had dinner in SS2 food court later in the evening. Well, at least the food here is cheaper than the ones in the malls! AND it is larger in quantity too!

Oh, and then, there was this charity baazar set up by the UBF to gather profit to donate to the orphanage. I was part of the sales crew. I bought Chip and Dale (the chipmunks) and another plushie as a gift to a friend. The sales were marvellous? I think it was fantastic! The soft toys were selling out like hot cakes!! Cause there were too cute! Really had fun helping out my seniors to run the baazar.

We also sold the Santa Hats for RM2 each. Those were a fast sell outs!! I was wearing one (got it for free) and walking around the hall way, and everybody keep asking me where I got it!! I just pointed them to the booth and asked them to buy extra items or donate some money.

So, last Tuesday, I went over to the Pusat Jagaan Beribuan Kasih along with my seniors and friends to set up the decorations for the place. We set up the decorations, talked with the orphans there, the old folks. There were all looking foward to the 25th for the party. We ourselves also pitied them, and told ourselves that we will do our best for them.

On Christmas Eve, Ker Keng took me, Ker Jia, Chee Kong, Cindy and Stanley to Bukit Bintang for the count down. And IT WAS HECTIC!!! Everyone was spraying foam that each other!!! I got sprayed too, but I din't waste any money buying the spray cans. I think it was just not worth the money. Every year also like that, things never seem to change around here eh?

25th finally came, OK, time to pack up and leave for the center. BUT, before that, we gathered together first in the Buddhist House to make some finals preparations before we take our leave. When we reach there, they were already expecting our arrival, I guess there were excited about the party.

So, we arrived early around 4pm to 5pm, we had extra time before we serve dinner, so we played a little ice breaking, and fool around with the orphans, talk with the old folks and bursting balloons too. But, that was unintentional. It was fun playing around with the kids there, they really play like they had never played so much before!

Dinner was served, "let them eat first while we eat later" was always our way for volunteers. To me, dinner was nice especially when you eat around in a big group. Then, it is time to sing the hymes. We sang, We Wish You A Merry Christmas, Top Of The World, Take Me Home - Country Road, and We Care. The atmosphere was fully of enjoyment during that time, it was nice seeing those happy faces.

Next we played games such as Limbo Rock and Dressing Up Santa Claus. This two games were hilarious! A punishment style Limbo Rock for the last person who crossed the line when the music stops was something unexpected. Dressing Up Santa Claus was full of creativity from everybody.

After that, we thought them how to fold paper cranes and to make it as a gifts to people they want to give. Everything went smoothly for that part. Except the time allocated for this programme was not enough. Oh well, and there comes the gift exchange programme. We present the orphan with Christmas gifts and goodie bags while they give the paper cranes to who-so-ever they want to.

That was pretty much the whole programme. The caretaker told us that, in the 4 years they were opened, this was the most grand party they ever had. Couldn't say we weren't flattered, but its the most we can do for them. At the end, we invited the old folks to dance with us, and wow, an old man sure got some style left! He must be the king of the 60's.

Most of the pictures are uploaded in Facebook.....go check it out....

Look At The Dust!!!!

WAHHH!!! LOOK AT THE DUST COMPILED ON MY BLOG!!! ITS ONE INCH THICK!!!! *Blows the dust*. So long I din't update my blog already. Guess I was just too lazy to do so? HAHA!! Anyway, I'll cut to the chase. For the past 2 weeks, this is what happened in my life.

I'll start off with the Tun Mahathir 6th Lecture Series which was held in UniTEN 2 weeks ago and the speaker was no other than the Raja Muda of Perak, Raja Nazrin. For me, I din't even bother to listen, due to his speech was about "The Role Of Youths In Forging A Prosperous Malaysia". The reason I din't bother to listen because the speech itself is a totaly hypocrisy. He was reading it off a piece of paper, and I assume that that piece of paper was set up by some one else? Oh well, I wasn't the only one fishing/playing facebook on my phone/sleeping, the whole hall was!! OK, here's the thing, we were force to go and listen to the lecture series. Some lecturers even resort to low tactics such as giving extra marks if they students attended the lecture! Damn....that's not fair....

Ok, in his lecture, he said, "We should be able to voice a different opinion without being insulted or threatened with humiliation. We should attempt to bring others to our point of view, not through coercion but by the force of our arguments and the justness of our cause". I wonder, is that possible in Malaysia with out being marked as a traitor and being arrested under the ISA?

He also said, "Have the courage to change your views if you come into conflicts with the facts, instead of trying to tailor the facts to suit your beliefs. Always keep an ounce of humility with you". And be pushed around all the time? No way jose, I rather be a dictator than letting some punk push me around! ESPECIALLY WHEN HE IS AN IDIOT!

Then, he said, "No matter how many degrees you earn, knowledge is no one's monopoly. The world has no shortage of knowledge but it could always do with more understanding". And look at us now, our minister's offsprings all studying in private school overseas while the people are studying in national schools!! There is no understanding here, IT IS THE FACT THAT THEIR OFFSPRINGS WILL TAKE OVER THEIR PARENT'S ROLE!!! IT'S A BLOODY DYNASTY! NOT A DEMOCRACY!!

This one pisses me off the most! "Whereas before we had an unwritten code of civility, some of the things that are said and done in the name of democracy today, go far beyond common decency". WHERE THE FUCK CAN ONE FIND DEMECRACY IN MALAYSIA?! The unwritten code of civility? Hello?? Everything is now black and white. If you are talking about the social contract, SHOW IT TO ME, BLACK AND WHITE!!!

Lastly, they provided us with free lunch, every thought. "Oh, OK, there are alot more, so I'll grab another lunch box". I did too, I took 2 lunch boxes. BUT, my friend told me the curry taste weird, so I tried it, it taste like soap+plastic? So I din't eat the curry, I placed it aside and eat the chicken and veges. Next thing we know, everyone if suffering from diarrhea!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS UNITEN TRYING TO PULL?!

RAWR!! Don't want to talk about the lecture anymore, make myself even more mad only!!! Anyway onto the next topic!!!

Last week, PC Fair!!! YAY!! As usualy, very hectic and the prices were low too!! I bought myself a notebook cooler and an external hard disk! Intranet, HERE I COME!!! DOWNLOAD SPREE!!!! Anyway, things aren't as nice as they used to be, less eye candies. I wonder where all the eye candies went to, now is December, ought to have more right? Oh well, I'll just ignore it and wait for the next PC Fair!

Last week also, I can my mid-term test for Chemistry and Calculus!!! DAMN!!!! AHHHH!!! I should have scored for Chemistry!!! WHYY DID I MAKE SO MUCH UNFORCED ERRORS!!! DAMN!!!! IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN!!!!

Next week onwards till Christmas I'll be busy with charity work for the UniTEN Buddhist Fellowship society. And, this Wednesday (Today is a Sunday), is my PHYSICS EXAM!!! I WILL DO MY BEST!!! BANZAI!!!!

Its Been Two Weeks...

Its been two week since I left my blog updateless. There is nothing much going on recently with my life. I feel like it has been circling around in a perfect circle. Everyday in campus also so tired, classes until 4pm on normal days and 8pm on Mondays. Waking up at 5.30am, going to class on 7am, it really feels like a working life.

I never like November and December so far, apart from the holidays, but now, I am a university student, so those holidays don't count anymore. Why would I hate November and December? Well, cause for some reason, I am most vulnerable in this two months compared to other rainy seasons. My classes are all fully air-conditioned, and in the teather, it's freezing in there!!! It is like a God-damned refrigerator in there!

My lectures are going from bad to worse, especially my Physics!!! I am taking extra classes for Physics just to cope up for the lessons. The seniors are coming back from their semester break on Monday, and I guess it is going to be another busy semester in UniTEN. The ghost town will once again be populated, the empty food courts will be filled again and club activites will start once again.

God damned I am exhausted nowdays, I just wish to hibernate all year long. In UniTEN, I study like hell, while at home, I sleep like hell. Damn...so tired....ciaoz...

The End Of The World....

Today, was spectacular!!! I went to IOI with my siblings to watch 2012! A movie directed by the same director for Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow. And God, it lived up to my expectations. I was impressed by the graphical works in the movie, it was made very realistic.

Watching the movie made me thought to myself, if the world was to end, what would I be doing? I know, I wouldn't survive, so, I should resist my death right? But at the moment of my death, what am I doing? Would I die alone? Or would I die with my loved ones? Dying with my friends? Got killed while studying?

No matter which way I die, it'll still be the same. Death impales upon me, so I shall recieve it with honour. There is a teaching in Buddhism that states when there is life, there will be death. Knowing that there will be death, we know that we will die one day, so, we must mentally be ready for it so that our souls do not linger around rentlessly. 

2012 is approx 3 years from now, is it just a myth? Or is it going to reset the world's calander? We do not know, but, embrace yourself when the time come, prepare to die, as in Malaysia, there will be no hope at all. This movie is a must to watch!!! Ratings, 4/5!!